Another year has gone by, and you're still kicking! I can't believe it – I thought for sure you would have keeled over by now. But no, here you are, still breathing and stuff. Congrats!
Let's be real here – you're not getting any younger. In fact, you're getting closer and closer to the grave every day. But at least you can take comfort in the fact that you had a pretty good run. I mean, you're still alive, right?
It's funny how life works – you get older and older, but you still haven't made your fortune. What gives? Oh well, at least you have some really great friends who are totally not making fun of you for being poor. Nope, not at all.
Another year, another wrinkle. But that's okay – you're still beautiful in your own way. I mean, who needs smooth skin and perfect teeth when you have a heart of gold? Not you, that's who.
Seriously, how old are you now? 100? I swear, you were probably around for the invention of the wheel or something. But hey, at least you can tell us all those sweet tales from the good ol' days. Bet they were a blast!
The world is a better place with you in it – even if you are a complete and total bastard sometimes. But hey, that's what makes you so gosh darn lovable! Here's to another year of being a magnificent pain in the butt.
Yup, you're definitely getting older. And the proof is in the (gray) pudding. But hey, at least you're still alive and (somewhat) kicking. Here's hoping you make it to see a few more gray hairs – or maybe even a few less!
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